Nigerian airlines, their flight attendants, 'switch off your phone!', and Airplane Mode.
Monday, September 28, 2015
This holiday weekend was not all fun for me. While I got to
travel, I went to spend time with my cousins who had lost their mum. So there
was this underlying sadness I felt all weekend.
But that didn’t get me.
On Saturday, I was checked in at the airport by 9.40 am for
my 11 am flight back to Abuja. It was not until it was past 1pm and we had not left that I
became quite irritated, and called out the airline on twitter. They
apologized profusely, and by 3 pm, we were on our merry little way back to
Abuja.
Maybe it was because I had my Game of Thrones book in my
phone to keep me company throughout the wait. So that didn’t entirely get me.
While the plane was taking off, I dozed off a bit, with my
head on the window. I woke shortly after take-off, thirsty, and then noticed that passengers around me had all been
served with snack packs. I approached one of the flight attendants, and gently
pointed out that I had been skipped.
I was expectant of an “Oh, I’m sorry, you were dozing, and I didn’t
want to disturb you. Here is your pack”.
All I got was a “Well, I called you, you didn’t answer. So
I moved on”. The end.
Hard to believe, but it didn’t get me.
I collected my water (the attendant subsequently attempted
to gruffly hand me a snack-pack, but I quietly declined and just collected the
water) and returned to my seat.
I turned on my phone, which was already on airplane mode,
and continued reading. I was in that part where King Robert
Baratheon had just decreed that Sansa’s direwolf be killed, when another flight
attendant (very sour-faced) appeared beside me and instructed me to put off my
phone.
With the sweetest smile I could muster, I began explaining
that the phone was off, as airplane mode was on, and that it was just a book I
was reading. But she cut me short, and insisted that I switch off my phone
immediately.
THAT got me.
“Help me understand. I told you the phone’s off already.
I’m just reading a book. Everywhere in the world, it’s understood that Airplane
mode is same as putting off your phone. So I don’t comprehend your request”.
“Well, it doesn’t work in Nigeria. We only allow Ipads and
Laptops” while pulling out a pamphlet, and pointing to the part of “NCAA
prohibits Use of Mobile phones”. (NCAA stands for Nigerian Civil Aviation Authority).
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Picture taken my Schinnel M
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“Are you aware that an Ipad is basically an oversized
mobile phone, and CAN be used to make calls/send texts?” I asked.
Me continuing: “This pamphlet states that the NCAA prohibits
‘Use of mobile phones, pagers and amateur radio transceivers’. Infact,
the actual NCAA guidelines prohibits “the use of cell phones OR other communication gadgets in the plane”.
Which points to the fact that NCAA’s concern is anything which can be used to
emit or receive communications signals. This thing in my hand right now can’t
receive or emit any signal. It’s just a book. It is safer than an Ipad, which
can actually be used to emit/receive radio signals. If you don’t mind, I will
continue to read my book.”
She stomped off, and shortly after, the other flight attendant
who had punished me in holding-back my snack-pack resurfaced.
“Madam, please switch off your phone now”.
I reiterated my earlier conversation with the previous
attendant.
“Well, we don’t allow it on, irrespective of signal
receivers or not. Simple. So put it off".
“Who do you mean by ‘we’?”
“Our Airline.”
“Why was this not stated as part of the terms of my
purchasing the ticket, in which case I would have refrained from purchasing
your airline's ticket?”
“Just put off your phone Madam. It’s not allowed”.
I was forced to pull the lawyer card. “You know, as an officer
in the temple of justice, I believe the Courts will find it highly ridiculous
that this device, which I have killed all its emitters and is just a book now should be switched off, while Ipads and Laptops which could actually emit enough signals to
interfere with the plane’s signals be left on, with no restriction”.
“Madam, put all this your argument in writing, and we can
consider it. For now, put off your phone”
“Ok, place all YOUR own arguments in writing, present to
me, and then I will consider giving a written response. In the meantime, I will
continue reading my book. You’re interfering with my right to peaceful existence, and causing me psychological trauma by forcing me to have a
continued discussion. I haven’t decided whether or not I want to sue your
airline for the hours I stayed at the airport. So just leave me to deal with
the distress you and your airline have occasioned me today”.
I turned back to Jon Snow et al, while readying myself for
the possibility of NCAA officers stopping me at the airport, and making mental
strategies as to the legal and media ruckus I would cause in that event.
Nothing happened anyway.
Maybe NCAA needs to amend their guidelines to be more in
tune with the 21st century, to comply with generally accepted
practice all over the world and make it explicit that devices which
emit/receive signals should be put off or placed in Airplane mode. Maybe Nigerian
airlines need to educate their staff on the real purport of these guidelines,
and engage NCAA on the fact that airplane mode equals a switched-off phone.
Or maybe flight attendants in Nigeria just have to learn to
be a bit more courteous, as you can’t treat a passenger with prickles and
thistles and expect ice-cream/honey fudge in response.
Whatever the case is, I have no intention of putting off my
phones during a flight, except for take-off and landing. Airplane mode is not
an aesthetic. It’s an actual function to ‘put off’ a phone, while allowing
access to the non-signal emitting/receiving functions of the phone. (I also have no intention of flying that airline again).
So when flight attendants harass you to put off your phones,
show them this page, and call their bluff. If they infringe your rights,
contact your lawyer. And if they think I'm 'inciting' unrest, let them sue.
I wait.
Paz,
Meg.
P.s.If you like the quippings of my busy mind, just click the G+1 button under my bio ... or after this post. And you'll get a sneak peak any time I ruminate here.
P.s.If you like the quippings of my busy mind, just click the G+1 button under my bio ... or after this post. And you'll get a sneak peak any time I ruminate here.
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