Meet My Busy Mind.: April 2019

Beyoncé’s Homecoming - A Review

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

This is supposed to be a (mini)-review of Beyoncé’s Home-coming film, released on Netflix.

The film covers her performance at the 2018 Coachella Awards (renamed “Beychella”), with some behind the scenes documentary inter-woven with the performances.

A review would usually entail an objective critique of a work of art (or any other body of work), so that even as the work of Art is extolled, its shortcomings are highlighted.

Right?

But I would be lying to you, if I told you that I found any shortcomings in Homecoming.

There was nothing to “critique” about Homecoming.

Nothing.

See… I had watched snippets of the show on YouTube, and had said to myself “Oh yes, Beyonce is the hottest thing right now. We already know. What else is there to show??”

Gurrrrrrrrrrrrllll!!! I was not ready for the Homecoming video.

(It totally snatched my braids; attachment and all, from my head)

The scales fell off my eyes from the things I hitherto considered as just “ordinary performance”. Beyoncé shared with us the detail she put in everything.

Great attention to detail was poured into EVERY SINGLE THING. Everything had a purpose. Everything had a reason.

From the colours of the performers, to the choice of instruments, to the choice of make-up, and the performance as a whole.

Beyond the detail in the delivery, the sheer effort Beyoncé poured into preparations made me want to sit down and think of my life all over again.

And again.

While it made me realise the amount of work many entertainers put into delivering their “perfect” performances, it showed the personal struggles Beyoncé had to overcome to deliver this particular “perfect” show.

How she had to re-learn her body and re-master her art. How she had to overcome “what ifs” to present the greatest Coachella ever.

In the course of the documentary, she mentions that she wanted to create something that people from all works of life could relate to, even as they watched her performance.

Boy… could I relate!

I mean, we couldn’t be more different in our chosen professions, could we?

But seeing her struggle in balancing her work life and family life; seeing her as a woman of a particular age facing the realities of nurturing other humans, while staying on top of her game; seeing her as a (black) woman having to best even herself, because that is the only way the world stands still, and gives us our full attention.

All I could say was “Finally! Someone gets this!!”

And hope… my, she gave me hope for a lot of things. Seeing her embrace life changes, and working it to her own advantage filled me with new hope that I could (and will) do same too.

Beyond this was the love for her family, and loyalty to her loved ones, which she once again displays in the line-up of her guest artistes.

And teamwork! If you're a boss, trying to master how to entrench teamwork within your team, Homecoming should be on constant replay.

According to Sandra Oh during her Times 100 Influential People speech, "Beyonce shows what you can create, when you give your all, andgive space for others to do same".

...

Homecoming was a whole mood; I was very proud of myself for watching Homecoming on my Birthday (what better Birthday present could I have gifted myself with??)

I see myself vibing to it in the bliss of my solitude for many, many days to come. It is my new how-to-unwind-after-work pill.

I’d probably have to watch the video in quick succession at least one hundred and fifty more times, before I finally get used to all the awesomeness packed in two hours.

Beyoncé’s Homecoming is not just entertainment, for entertainment sake. At the very least, I would label Beyoncé’s homecoming “Deeply Inspiring”.

You could even nickname it "Lessons on Teamwork".

For now, it is Perfection.

Paz,

Meg.

P.s: Could we just leave this (unnecessary) MJ v. Beyonce argument, and celebrate all of the awesomeness they both have blessed us with?

Photo-Credits: www.eonline.com (Beyonce at Coachella 2018)

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Reviews

Top 10 books I enjoyed as a child

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

"Chronicles of Narnia" Fan-Art by TaekwondoNJ

A very good friend of mine recently made her foray into the world of children’s literature, and published her first children’s fiction - The Adventuresof Ife and Hope.

(There will absolutely be a review of this book here, soon)

But this got me thinking about my childhood and pre/early teen years, where there was a myriad of age appropriate reading literature for children and young adults. Books were all we had (and relished) at the time.

With the advent of Social Media – which is supposed to be a good thing(ish) – I sometimes worry, that what are kids these days reading?

Our lunchtime catching-up with friend would be about those books, and how eager we were to blackmail our parents to get us sequels.

What do kids catch up on these days… do you know?

I worry that it is not far from what pose Ariana Grande struck during her last show, or the latest filter introduced on snapchat. Which are not in themselves bad things to catch up on. I am just worried about the seeming dearth of the reading (and deep learning) culture, hastened by the very visual world of social media platforms.

Anyway, I had good memories of books I read as a child/pre-teen, which I thought to share, for ideas on building you kiddies library.

Here goes my top ten child-books from my past (in no particular order):

1. Ralia the Sugar Girl

I know, I know… with the benefit of adulthood, this book smacks of a lot of eye-rolling unrealities and naivety.

But there was something about the portrayal of the happy-go-lucky, central character that sowed in me the “Never lose hope” seed. Despite the (scary) adventures she passed through, she never lost faith that she would find her way home again to her family, and never lost that spark that filled her with so much sweetness.

The book also taught me the common-sense of not wandering away from home randomly. While I admired her perseverance, I had no interest in getting lost as a child.

2. Famous Five/Secret Seven series

Ahhhhhh! Enid Blyton did a huge number on a lot of us with these books, and kept us coming back for more.

These books opened my mind to the world of child-sleuthing, and I would see every daily occurrence through the lens of a mystery waiting to be solved (Even when it was clear that it was the cat that ate the crayfish, and not some mysterious man living in a hidden cellar)

I particularly loved the portrayal of George in Famous Five and I identified with her, since I was a tomboy myself. It made me more comfortable in my tomboy-skin.

3. The Drummer Boy

If there ever was a story I read as a child of one rising above one’s natural circumstances, it was this one.

While not exactly a “child’s” book per se, Cyprian Ekwensi opened my eyes to the struggles of people living with disabilities among us and the need for the provision of better facilities for them.

4. The Three Golliwogs

I had a love/hate relationship with these series, and the central characters. I liked the back stories, but had questions regarding where the characters came from, how they ate, and what they did for a living. For starters, WHAT THE HECK ARE GOLLIWOGS?

While their stories made me laugh a lot at the time, I do not know that I will be recommending the books, due to the portrayal of the “Golliwogs”. As I typed this post, it hit me that the “Golliwogs” is a ‘soft’ portrayal of Blackface, which is a caricature of Black Africans.

I guess that is one of the side-effects of growing up; you suddenly realise that some of those things that made you ‘laugh’ as a child, were not appropriate. Especially when it caricaturizes a you. The reader.

5. Without a Silver Spoon

The first time I saw this book in my father’s library, I asked “Daddy… what is a Silver Spoon?” He smiled a deep, long smile.

I would later understand from the book the various strata society deems one naturally “born into”, and how easy it is for you to be judged based on the boxes society has placed you in. More importantly, I would understand that you are not defined by these lines and boxes already pre-determined for you.

You make your own path.

6. My book of Bible Stories

I agree with you, that the pictures used to sometimes potray the characters or a particular event were a little over the top. Like showing the ‘evilness’ of Delilah, through her red nails and red lipstick??

Lol… that’s like 98% of us women in this day.

But this book helped in making my learning of the tenets of my faith a fun thing (rather than a draaaaaaaaagggg).

The stories were actual stories from the Bible, and in my mind, I was often transported to the particular happening. The stories, the visuals and the writing all fuelled my imagination, and in my mind’s eye, I could see myself in places like the whale’s belly; chilling with brother Jonah.

Weird, right?

7. Chike and The River

There is a reason Chinua Achebe remains Africa’s best writer (argue with your other novelists). While a children’s book, this book would be enjoyed by persons of ~~any~~ every age, even in this day, and Chinua (as always) seizes the opportunity to share the beauty of the various Nigerian cultures.

The story balances the desire for a brighter future, with the un-climatic reality that the grass on the other side might just be far from green.

And while my family was not the wealthiest at the time, this book made me appreciate things I took for granted which other people prayed to have, or experience. Things as seemingly ‘mundane’ as going and living across the River Niger.

8. Basket of Flowers

Lol. This book shaaaa.

Daddy made me read this book at least twenty times. Whenever I was caught in a lie, the Basket of Flowers was my punishment. When I wanted to “keep up with the joneses”, he referred me to keep up with Basket of Flowers instead. And even when it was time to have “the talk” on crossing from childhood into young-adult, he insisted I read the Basket of Flowers yet again, to soften the ground.

It maddened me at the time that he WANTED me to read the book over and over again, and fall in love with it. But I did fall in love with it eventually. I remember this now and smile, with a mental note to tease him about it when next we sit together.

This book is beautiful a coming of age book for young girls and boys, with lessons and principles on building character.

9. Chronicles of Narnia

Oh my!

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Prince Caspian. The Horse and His Boy.

Aslan. Narnia.

These Chronicles perhaps form part of the happiest/sweetest/fondest memories of my childhood. I loved the books so much, that when I graduated from my Bachelors in Law, my third sibling gifted me with a beautifully illustrate hardcover of all the books in one.

(Someone stole it from meeeee!!!) 😭😭

When I read the Chronicles of Narnia as a child, I had no idea that there were some faith-based undertones (C.S. Lewis writes with Christian undertones). But there was a beauty in the hope that the stories potrayed. The fun of the adventures. The (pun-ish) idea that you had to be as child to experience Narnia, and the beautiful closure the Last Battle brought.

Even if no other book features, this is one book that would definitely be in my children’s library.

10. One Week, One Trouble (And Double Trouble)

Haha! This book was all about the adventures of Tagbo (that was his name, right?) as a boarding school student in colonial Nigeria. He always found himself in one trouble or the other with his peers, Seniors at school or school authorities.

But he warmed your heart with the ways he wriggled himself out of each situation, and deep down, he was just a good-natured young boy, with a nack for the (slightly) dangerous.

...

There were other books I enjoyed, like an African Night’s Entertainment, Koku Baboni, Bottled Leopard, and King Solomon’s Mines.

I look forward to building a library full with most of them… even as you are welcome to borrow ideas for stocking your kiddies’ library.

Paz,

Meg.

Photo-Credits:
1. www.deviantart.com
2. www.audible.com.au
3. www.wikipedia.com
4. Drummer Boy (by Cyprian Ekwensi) www.goodreads.com
5. The Three Golliwogs (by Enid Blyton) www.goodreads.com
6. www.pinterest.com
7. www.zikoko.com
8. www.christianbook.com

2 Comments

Career

Compliments at Job Interviews: to smell… or not to smell?

Thursday, April 04, 2019

Image result for angry work interview pictures

Honestly, for my non-Nigerian friends looking for broader (yet, entertaining) views on different aspects of life, you should get a back-up twitter account, and join Nigerian twitter.

Just stroll through those streets casually from time to time.

There, you’d find fodder for a wide range of discussions: from sarcastic advice on training mice (Yes. Mice.), to defiant retweets ensuring that Kevin Hart recognises a drawing of him by a 15 year-old.

Every once in a while, we get that one burning topic on Nigerian twitter, which spills right out from Twitter, and culminates into a real burning national (and sometimes, international) issue.

Last month, the issue was Aunty Taiwo, and her scent-digging interviewee.

(Stay with me)

This was the tweet which set the naija Twitter-verse (and the rest of its cousins: Zuckerville, Instatown and Whatsapp-county) on fire:

Lots of reactions to the tweet began rolling in. Some condemnatory, some supportive, and others… just plain hilarious.

Even major brands jumped on the train, and used it to “sell their market”.

Beyond the bants and fleeting humour that trailed the initial tweet however, we know that job interviews are serious business. A job (or lack of one) could single-handedly shape the trajectory of your life.

Which brings us back to this burning question: was the interviewee wrong (or right) in paying those compliments, and was the interviewer right (or wrong) in taking exception?

In answering, perhaps I will start with the second part of the question: the interviewer’s reaction.

I agree she was a tad bit insensitive (immature even?) in her delivery of her reservation. I mean, what if the interviewee is on Twitter? Are their feelings not supposed to be considered? Are details of interviews no longer private?

(I know… Social Media is the new shrink everyone goes to vent)

*rolls eyes*

And compliments at work are not necessarily a bad thing.

But…

(You knew there was a huge BUT coming right?)

There are three reasons this particular comment will easily draw ire, and here is why:

1. Nature of relationship

Yes… compliments at work are not necessarily a bad thing.

But that’s the thing! This case was not one of “work”… yet!!

This is a fact-finding mission to find out if you’re the right person for the job. You’re not colleagues, yet. Y’all are not “chummy”, and having Thursdays office pizzas together.

Yet.

You DO NOT have a relationship with the interviewer, obligating them to appreciate your compliments.

Yet.

Also, considering that there are probably a thousand other people applying for the same job, the interviewer is likely to be in elimination mode. Especially if everyone who applied is technically qualified. The interviewer is grasping at claws to eliminate candidates, for the tiniest reasons.

Why on earth would you let your heightened sense of smell be used by you, to sabotage yourself, and put you up for elimination?

2. Nature of compliment

Some of the condemnatory reactions on social media were along the lines of how abc complimented their boss about a bracelet and bonded with that boss, or xyz complimented a potential client about a wrist-watch, and got the contract.

Asides the obvious that in the most of these cases, there is already a relationship, the nature of these compliments are not what one could qualify as (what’s the word???) ~~personal~~ Intimate.

Admiring a bracelet or a wrist-watch is something that has to do with sight. You can see it from afar, even through a picture.

But smell?? Phew! That one is touchy you know.

It could quickly cross the line from being ‘sweet’ to down-right creepy.

(Especially with all those movies of serial killers smelling their victims’ hair or clothes, before ‘offing’ them)

This is not to say that you could not pay ‘personal’ compliments. But you still have to find a way to make them come across as complimentary, without being over-familiar.

Example: “I couldn’t help noticing the lovely salsa shoes in the corner of your office… my sister dances salsa as well.

You see what we did there? We showed we pay attention to details, and complimented the beauty of the shoes, without over-personalizing the compliment or over-familiar with the interviewer.

3. Context is everything

Having lived and worked in Nigeria, I understand first-hand how difficult it is as a woman to be in a position of power, no matter how little the power.

Especially if you are a young and (seemingly) ‘unfettered’ woman.

Irrespective of how many degrees come with your name, or how hard you have worked to get to the position you occupy, it is as though there are people at every corner waiting to trivialize your worth… sometimes cloaked in words of endearment or compliments.

When you’re not “baby-Lawyer”, you are “fine-Girl”. And if you dare attempt to express reservations at these condescending ‘compliments’, it quickly flips to “Proud-idiot”.

Heck… you cannot even walk through the markets without being ogled against your will in the name of compliments, and insulted for taking exception.

I also know what it is to be in the middle of what is supposed to be a professional conversation with a person of the opposite sex, and have it suddenly swing - from 0 to 100 in a second - to “Give me your number… let me call you tonight”, with the batting of an eyelid that is supposed to come off as (maybe) something sexy.

Against this backdrop, could we blame Aunty Taiwo for getting alarmed at this (very intimate) compliment?

As our people say, “na from play e dey enter clap. From clap, e dey enter dance. From dance… e don finish”.

In addition to all the foregoing, it is only an undeserved sense of entitlement that would expect you to expect that every compliment is welcome. Giving a person a ‘compliment’ is your own assessment of them or what applies to them. Whether or not they accept it, or how they receive is a risk to be well considered before giving the compliment.

If you are not sure whether a given compliment will or will not draw an interviewer’s ire, please don’t give the compliment. Nobody I know has ever lost a job, because they failed to compliment the interviewer. If you MUST compliment, just compliment the Company itself, professionally.

In any case, your parents (or guardians) did not eke out all that school fees for you to graduate, and be smelling another human being upanda at an interview. Again, it may be most advisable to keep your olfactory super-powers to yourself, or your personal acquaintances.

That being said, Aunty Taiwo, next time, remember that the devil is in delivery.

Don’t throw the baby and the bathwater out in passing useful interview tips. A calm-headed “this intelligent young man came for an interview today, although I was left a bit uncomfortable with him telling me I smell nice after the interview” could equally have done the job.

But hey… it’s the Twitter age. Welcome to the age of being “savage”.

Paz,

Meg.

Photo-Credits:

1. www.businessinsider.com

2. - 4. www.twitter.com

5. www.quickteller.com

4 Comments

Life

All things bright and beautiful

Monday, April 01, 2019

Last month, I got mortally scared twice.

The first, I got called in by my physician from out of the blues, based on some routine check-up test results.

Haaaa!!!

I just started crying; thinking of the most extreme possibilities.

Why would the doctor call me in?

Was this the end?

How much longer did I have to eat fried dodo??

Who would inherit my favourite teddy bear??

My fifteen years of binging faithfully on Grey’s Anatomy ensured the scariest outcomes kept replaying over and over in my head, as I did the seemingly long ride to the doctor’s.

It took me all of my home training (and a little more) to refrain from drawing out a loooooooong village-woman hiss at the doctor’s confirmation that there was absolutely nothing wrong, and I’d been brought in for random information that could well have been given to me over the phone.

(Hisssssssssssssss!!!!)

***

The second was less third-person-esque in delivery: I came down with the NASTIEST flu ever in my history of coming down with flus.

One day, I was jumping all over the gym. The next, I was rolling on the floor, calling for my Mummy.

I have experienced my fair share of Malarias in my day. But this one, it was like a bout of Malaria 10.0 XX version.

One of those days, it felt like the end had come, and I made a mental note to wake up thanking God for pristine health everyday if when it blew over.

The weather did little to help. It was cloudy most of the week, and greatly oscillating between highs and lows.

And bad news seemed to be on a roll.

By the end of the last week, I only got by from day to day, with fantasies of the hot Abu Dhabi sun all over my skin, as my bed-time routine.

***

I’m not sure if it is because it is a new month, a new week, my birth month, or the strong rays of sun as found staring at me when I lifted the curtain this morning.

(Or even a happy combination of it all)

But I woke up today, stepping into this… feeling of newness. One could feel the palpable lift of the invisible cloud that had seemed to have engulfed us all since the past month.

And as the sun defiantly burst out today, I got excited seeing that Spring ~~had finally come~~ was slowly – but surely - winning this battle against winter.

And in a short while… it would be summer!! 😊😊

I got reminded today of the holy book’s wise words; “sorrow only lasts for a night”.

For no matter how long the sorrow or unhappiness or sadness may, it is only a night. When it lifts – as it surely will - it is as though we have stepped into a certain newness; a dawn of a new day.

And as always, all things are presented in their true colours: bright and beautiful

As you step into this new month and into the Spring, I wish you the brightest and most beautiful of things to come.

Paz,

Meg.

Photocredits:

www.unsplashed.com (Werner Sevenster)

www.unsplashed.com (Ales Me)

2 Comments

Beyoncé’s Homecoming - A Review

Top 10 books I enjoyed as a child

Compliments at Job Interviews: to smell… or not to smell?

All things bright and beautiful

MEG CHINELO EGBUNONU

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