(This is the fifth part in the Naija Girl Abroad series. The preceding part is here)

There are many things they tell you when you move abroad, particularly when moving to the West.

 

“It is cold o, cover yourself up”.

 

“Carry your own ata rodo (hot sauce) in your bag when going to any party”.

 

“Be ready to drive taxi or scrub floors, till you get a good job”.

 

You are (kind of) prepared for many adversities to be faced in your new home, top of which is culture shock.

 

What no one really talks about is Imposter Syndrome.

 

That small, evil voice at the back of your head, mocking your past achievements, and working extra-hard to make you think that your skills are rubbish. That soon enough, you will be discovered for the fraud you are.

 

It is not that only first-gen immigrants are subject to imposter syndrome; it could creep upon any individual at any time. However, the intensity for persons who move to another country is higher. (Especially if the moving is done from what is considered a less-developed country, to a more developed country).

 

Maybe it is the myriad of licensing exams which one has to write (basically summing up their prior qualification and experience as non-existent) that leaves one’s confidence in tatters.

 

Maybe it is constantly having doors shut in one’s face for lack of ‘domestic experience’.

 

Or maybe it is having to strive the extra mile to convince a prospective employer that the thick African accent does not mean you will appear at work with a sacrificed chicken in your satchel, while robed in full witch-doctor’s gear.

That's for only weekends.

(Ok, I'm kidding!) 

(Or maybe not.. 😃)

 

Whatever the case is, moving abroad – particularly upwards of thirty – is capable of doing a number on a person’s psyche, such that even when the opportunity to shine presents itself, imposter syndrome may set in, thereby leading to self-sabotage.

You could open your mouth to speak, and suddenly freeze. As though birds were flying out of your head, with your brain in tow, leaving empty casings of coconuts behind. 

 

Sigh.

 

.***

 

The first time I really felt imposter syndrome was when I went to grad school.  

 

Phew!

 

I, who erstwhile colleagues at the time would jokingly refer to as a tornado, imposter syndrome turned me to even less than a whiff of air.

(A dhon die!)

 

I would question my every step, and even when I was sure of a particular course of action, I would keep hesitating, until I lost faith to proceed.

 

It took a while, and lots of work, for me to rid myself of self-doubt, and re-establish my faith in me.

 

I have since then recognised imposter syndrome for the fraud it is, and I am quick to shoot it down, once I feel it rearing its silly head, at any time.

 

In the past week however, I have had cause to discuss with others who once like me, have just crossed into the Canadian market. Asides the regular challenges which new entrants face, there is an underlying common theme I find in the myriad of questions asked:

 

Am I good enough?

 

That right there is imposter syndrome, and here are five quick tips – which have worked for me – that can to help you nip it in the bud.

 

1. Whip out your receipts

 

It is often said “do not rest on your laurels”. This is true, to ensure continuous progress. After all, no one really wants to be known as a “has been”.

 

When dealing with imposter syndrome however, it is important to pause, and remind yourselves of the talented being that you are. You must dig out your badges of honour, and place them right in your face, as a reminder of your awesomeness.

 

I remember when I was in grad school, and struggling severely. I had to remind myself that people were awarded scholarships, only based on their high law school CGPAs and other qualifications. Surely, the admissions committee must have seen something worthy to award me a double scholarship, fully covering my tuition and boarding.

 

And when I had near panic-attacks before giving presentations in front of the class, I had to remind myself that I had successfully argued motions before justices, with antagonistic opposing counsel waiting to jump in at any opportunity, harried clients looking on, their lives hanging on my every syllable, and courts packed full with colleagues and laymen alike.

 

What was a power-point presentation compared to this?

 

This was the same thing I reminded the young mentees I had discussions with last week, reminding them that they had been called to the bar in two different continents. Surely, that was breathing confirmation that they had what was required to succeed as lawyers.

 

“If you are intelligent enough to pass the bar exams, not once, but twice in your life, you are good enough to practice what you learnt for those exams”, I’d say.

 

So it may be as basic as your educational qualification, or some award/recognition you may have received. Whatever it is, whenever you feel imposter syndrome sliding close, just pull out the receipts of your awesomeness, and wave them in its face.

 

 

2. Call up your cheerleaders

 

You know those people who come under your Instagram picture yelling “Yassssss Queeeeen!!!” or “Slay us – we are your Thanksgiving turkey!!!”? 

 

You need people like that in your professional life. I like to call them intellectual cheerleaders.

 

Just as doctors cannot sometimes heal themselves, there may be times you cannot provide the kind of emotional support you require, to overcome the particular bout of imposter syndrome. And that is where your support structure comes in.

 

Your intellectual cheerleaders.

 

They could be peers you attended law school/undergrad with. Or a mentor. Or family members. It could be just a significant other. But one who knows your professional abilities enough to come through for you and give you strength when you’re flailing.

 

Call them up, and have them remind you that you have absolutely nothing to be worried about.

 

Whatever it is, you’ve got this. 

 

 

3. Capitalise on your strengths

 

Perhaps, your imposter syndrome is borne out of doing tasks (or even a job) where you feel like a fish being asked to climb trees.

 

If it is possible, find tasks that highlight your strengths, and which you really enjoy doing.

 

If PowerPoint presentations are your forte, you could volunteer to handle the PowerPoint presentations for group assignments. Or if like me, you can digest a 1000 page document in a couple of hours, and sum it up in one page, by all means, go for such assignments.

 

 

4. Build your substance

 

You may not always find yourself in your comfort zone. And quite frankly, excellence requires you continue to improve on yourself.

 

Which is why in order for you to combat imposter syndrome, you have to constantly be on top of your game.

 

If for example, you find yourself in a new role with which you are not yet totally conversant with the nuances, engage in continuous research. Read up as much as you can, proactively. Ask questions among your peers, and utilise resources available.

 

There is no shame in not having an answer to every question, in so far as you know where to find the answer, can find same timeously and are able to convey need for clarity on the subject-matter, intelligently. 

 

The only thing that is rocket science, is rocket science in itself. And even that can be studied and understood.

 

5. Reaffirm yourself daily

 

You do not have to wait for imposter syndrome to come visiting before you start pulling the receipts.

 

You are your own greatest cheerleader. So get in front of the mirror every-day, and re-affirm yourself. Tell yourself how amazing you are.

 

Remind yourself of your tenacity; hold your head high, and arc your back straight.

 

Gas yourself up queen/king!

 

And next time you feel imposter syndrome dare to rear its silly head, shoot it down without even blinking.

Go... and be great!

 

Paz,

Meg.

 

As I type, my fingers are still delightfully feverish. 

The past weekend will go down in history as one of the most suspense-filled globally, for a long time to come. This also serves as a reminder, that whatever happens in United States of America affect millions globally.

Which was why the past four years has been a nightmare in living colour, for us all.

Waking up each day, to multiple, spurious tweets from the person supposed to be the most powerful human in the world.

Cussing out one person or the other. Or blowing dog-whistles to civilians to carry arms. Stoking tensions and divisions amongst brothers and sisters, and gaslighting black people who mourned police brutality and killings of their own.

It can never be enough that “jobs are being created” or “the economy is booming”. If we all blow ourselves up as a result of infighting sanctioned by the ‘leader’, who will be left to enjoy the economy?

I personally felt the height of it this year, when the US President unilaterally began threatening war with Iran, at the start of this year. Despite all the bad drama he had occasioned between Canada and US in the past four year – particularly unnecessary trade-wars - we still were officially allies with the US. This would mean we would inadvertently be drawn into a war which we had no business getting involved in.

Brothers and sisters would be sent off to die, because one human could not check their ego, and seek alternative peaceful options to international tension.

And then, there is the domino effect on the world of the chaos that had been going on in the US.

With big brother, busy putting his own house on fire, governments around the world had taken the liberty to wield power as they wish. The authority of the United Nations had been demystified by the US President; who would be there to challenge authoritarianism?

An example was in the 20^th October 2020 massacre of innocent and peaceful #EndSARS protesters in Nigeria, by security personnel of the government, without as much an acknowledgement from the US President.

Ironically, reprimand had come from the present President-elect, while the sitting President did “eyes-right”.

Which was why as at November 3, I was already stressed out by the US elections (as I am sure a lot of other non-US citizens were). I could not imagine the concept of a further four years of the kind of chaos that even my 10 year old niece had come to associate Mr. Trump with.

I turned to food for solace. [Yes, I’m a stress-feeder; judge me.]

As the votes started coming in, coupled with the continuous barrage of cocky tweets from Mr. Trump, it appeared that the sitting President was winning. I began to emotionally checkout, to protect my mental health, and steady myself for the horror of the next four years.

It was looking like America had given up on itself.

I decided I was going to check out of social media, until all the drama was over, and the winner called.

And then, I saw the tweet from the President-elect. Calm, but assertive. Encouraging people all over the world not to lose hope. It was reminiscent of the calm wave, in the midst of a raging sea.

The next morning, I woke up, prayed for the elections, then picked my phone up.

Mail-in ballots had begun to be counted, and Mr. Biden was leading!

(Dare we hope??)

My heart started racing fast, and I began checking the stats more often. As Mr. Biden’s votes increased, so did my excitement.

The thought that decency would return to the White House. That Twitter would finally not wake up to gutter-language – in all caps - gushing out of the tweets of the American President.

(Ugggh)

By Friday, there was a spring in my step. What a time to be alive! In anticipation, my sweetheart and I bought wine, ready to be popped once Mr. Biden was finally projected the winner.

But the count was loooooooooong! Seeing the same figures on the television screen for the longest time ever.

In faith, we popped the wine nevertheless, and went to bed.

By morning, our faith had paid off.

Mr. Biden had clinched the remaining electoral votes required to be projected winner, even as Mr. Trump continues to allege fraud, inadequate access, and all sorts of irregularities. Lawsuits have been threatened and filed. However, election officials have disputed these claims, even as the lawsuits have begun to be thrown out of the courts.

And then, my Prime Minister gave his felicitations to Mr. Biden.

I finally broke down in tears, wept for joy. I remembered when we watched in disbelief, as Hillary lost the election. As we shuffled like a world in a trance, while the American President traded words with every and anyone who would give him the opportunity.

Even 16 year-old Greta Thunberg.

Agbaya.

But the work is farrrrrrr from done. If anything, it is about to begin.

It is a very fragmented USA that Mr. Biden is inheriting, far more fragmented than when even Obama became President. The past four years has brought out the worst in people.

The outgoing administration rode on the tensions, fear and division, in building a base.

That base is about 70 million people strong, as the votes show.

No doubt, Mr. Biden has his work cut out for him. Good thing is he has repeated severally, that while having campaigned on a democratic platform, he will be President to ALL Americans.

Unity is indeed a good place to start.

Congratulations to the people, and God bless America. 

Paz,

Meg.