My favourite time of the year on my blog has come to be the end of the year, where in keeping up with an annual tradition I started sometime back, I review global events that happened over the year.

This year has been... sort of different. And not (entirely) in the feel good kind of way.

I dreaded making this post, as writing this would mean I would have to re-hash the global horrors of this year, most of which I forced myself to develop selective amnesia over, in order to keep my sanity.

The first rude shocker some of us received had to be the Nigerian Presidential elections... or rather, the absence of one.

Sigh.

You see, the land of my birth has been through a lot of wahala. Sometimes (like the gestapo-style of the military 90s), it would seem things were sinking irredeemably low, and then, by some miracle, it would get lifted out into what would appear a hopeful future.

More recently however, it had seemed the country was finally getting it right. In the wake of her newfound return to democracy, Nigeria of the 2000s seemed unstoppable, being courted by investors from all over the globe.

Alas, who knew that those were the last glory days for a loooooong time to come. Because the downward spiral has gone so deep, that a lot of us had to do what we never thought doable, which is seeking hope elsewhere, for the sake of our descendants, born and unborn.

Which is why the last elections signaled a last beacon of hope of some sorts. Nigeria for the first time in a longtime had a candidate of impeccable origins, background and antecedents, with wide appeal across the country, especially from diasporeans.

Even as the frenzy to the elections built up, diasporeans made plans to return home in droves, to help rebuild their land of birth which they always loved, even though far.

Alas, it was not to be, as the world watched the Electoral Commission murder democracy in broad daylight, while clearly ensuring that the electronic transmission of Presidential Election votes were foiled.

The results? A mangled outcome of contrived numbers, leading to a very unpopular candidate, whose emergence has cast Nigeria’s public image in the worst type of limelight, due to a past hitherto best read in Mario Puzo-esque novels.

All due to the selfish ambitions of a few.

While many others held their breath, and hoped for the judiciary to do the right thing, I switched off emotionally from all things Nigerian at the time immediately, for the sake of my mental health and well-being.

I muted a lot of words on Twitter (my primary source of social media information), and fed my eyes instead with happy, utopian pictures and travel reels littered all over Instagram. The times I stepped back mainstream, I focused on happenings elsewhere.

But 2023 was pretty dark everywhere else. At home in Canada, we battled inflation all year, amidst climbing interest rates. Canadians were posting videos and tik-toks, bemoaning the HARD standard of living, and most people’s once idyllic reality had suddenly metamorphosed into this drudgery.

In the midst of all that, the Ukraine-Russian war was not letting up, and we were constantly riddled with images and updates on this never-ending war, which threatened sometimes to morph into a 3rd World War, which we would all then get sucked into.

Arrrrrrggggghhhhhh.

That was the point I really began stepping back from all things external news and information, and re-creating that bubble that carried me through the craze of the pandemic in 2020.

(I mean.. delulu is the ultimate solulu, right??)

If I ever found myself on Twitter, the only trending topic I clicked on was all things Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex. For my good sis was sure to be serving fashion style with looks, along with her fine husband, and we could even get sneak peaks of their adorable youngsters.

Meghan was truly my happy place in 2023, when it came to global happenings. Her ignoring yet persevering game is something to be studied. And while she may not have gotten all steps right in the past, she definitely has a good (beautiful) head on her warm shoulders. And hearing her speak is as soothing as soothing can be.

To see her and her hubs support the Nigerian team at the last Invictus games was wildddddd! And I finally got to watch the full episodes of Suits (legal dramas irk me!), affirming in my mind the fact that Meghan had ALWAYS been a whole babe on her own, regardless of who she chose to marry.

Outside of Meghan, I continued to step back some more from global things, and lean into my own life more.

I think the last straw really was October 7, when Hamas executed terrorist acts on helpless women and children, kidnapping a huge number, and subsequently violating them.

It took me down a trauma lane I did not even know I had, or repressed. The trauma of Boko Haram, the abduction of the Chibok girls and the subsequent unhindered abductions of women and school children all over the North of Nigeria as acts of terrorism, leading to kidnapping now being considered a ‘norm’ in the area. Till this day. In the name of agitating for a Jihadist State.

My first reaction to October 7 was: Why? Why women and children??

I mean, no one deserves to be assaulted or kidnapped, not even men. But why are the most vulnerable targeted?? Why not the soldiers... or Parliament? Why innocent babies and their mothers? Why do women and children always have to be the ultimate pawn in power tussles??

Because the aim as always is to strike terror. Not at agitating for a “free state”, but with the ultimate goal of domination through terror.

South Africa successfully agitated for freedom from apartheid, without kidnapping and murdering innocent white children and women in the country. Ireland did the same, without targeting the most vulnerable; women and children.

What Hamas is doing is highly reminiscent of what Boko-Haram, ISWAP and other (religious) extremist groups do, to flex power and strike terror, by kidnapping and targeting the most vulnerable, while hopping on the confusion from political-correctness to provide their much needed shield. The guise is to “agitate” for whatever cause is fingered at the time. The ultimate aim is to strike terror.

But the “whataboutism”, it exhausted me.

To see us “intellectuals” put on our Sandra Bullock-esque blindfold from Birdbox, jump right through this, and go into all sorts of pontification, without stopping to say “hey... there is no place for kidnapping and violating babies, children, women, old people, or using hospitals and schools as human shields, regardless of the cause” with one voice, I think this is what broke me finally.

So I stepped back from social media almost completely, and have instead leaned in fully. I leaned into my volunteering, I leaned into my job.

But most important of all, in 2023, I leaned into Motherhood with every fibre of my soul.

Ahhhh.

...

In many ways, 2023 has been one of my best years, so far. This was quite surprising, seeing that the year started on a pretty distressing note, and I resolved to just take one day at a time.

The one thing that kept me going for the longest time, till the year straightened out, was my little one.

I remember speaking with a friend and saying that if one was not sure they wanted kids, then there was no need having kids, as you would resent it, and could even feel like your life had been snatched from you.

But if having children was something on your front-burner, then by all means, have kids, sleepless nights and all.

The latter is the case for me. I was sooooooo ready to be a Mom, that I honestly cannot remember the stress that came with the past couple of years of my life changing. I count it all joy, and revel everyday in capturing EVERY moment.

I acknowledge it is no walk in the park. I think for me, I embraced it wholly, because I was emotionally (and financially?) prepared to delve into the beautiful beautiful rabbit-hole that motherhood is.

Being a full-time career Mom has its specific challenges, but loving my career the way I do, I’ve seen the added responsibility of motherhood as a blessing, rather than a burden.

To be able to love another unconditionally, unrestrained, irrevocably... never wondering “is it too much”, “will they love me back”, “will they ghost me”?

I mean, our kids will all grow up to make their choices (and we pray it is the right one they make). But in this early moments, knowing that another human depends on you wholly for survival, and that you have to pour all of you into them to enable them thrive not just for today, but for the future is a responsibility that only unconditional love can enable one bear it with joy.

There is a lot in motherhood (and even pregnancy!) that is neverrrrrr talked about, and oh boy! I had to learn many things on the go, still learning a lot on the go.

But the biggest takeaway is how motherhood has helped me to learn how not to hold on to things (or even people) beyond what I absolutely must.

Because I have to be at my best mental and other capacity, in order to nourish my youngling. This in turn would entail that anything that messed with my ability to bring my A+ game for my child had to be let go, with a kiss or a kick.

But the hardest thing I’ve had to decide to let go of this year had to be writing on my blog; this blog.

...

This year made it ten years since I created my blog, and reading through my posts over the years helps me see the growth I’ve experienced in my personal, social and even professional life.

This blog helped me in fashioning my personal brand, and taught me the true meaning of consistency. Having to show up even when I did not feel like, and keep putting post after post up. Writing on the blog made me far more knowledgeable on things, as I’d often have to do research on a number of topics, before writing.

I remember specifically, when I struggled with the aftermath of feeling ghosted, even when I did not know the term, ‘ghosting’. It was this blog that helped me deal with it, using humour, as always.

Sadly, things change. In order to be able to grow more into motherhood and other things, I had to come to terms with the fact that some things had to give. And as you grow in life, the things you say matter the more.

Ten years ago, I could get away with being flippant and naughty in my humour-filled writing. But this is not ten years ago, and I always have to ask myself more and more before putting anything out: is it worth it??

So I declared my retirement from blogging earlier this year, and slowly began withdrawing from writing. At the time, it seemed exciting, that I was moving on from the life of constant blogging I had known over the past ten years. But as the year drew to a close, the goodbye has seemed much harder

In my true addicted-to-writing fashion, I know that I will peep out from ‘retirement’ every once in a while, to quip about one thing or the other.

I hope to use this “retirement” to continue writing on other platforms, including (finally) publishing the books that have swirled in my head for the longest time, the first of which I’ve not been able to get beyond page 52, for the longest time.

So this is not exactly goodbye, as you are bound to see me around, from time to time. This I am sure of.

If you ever miss me, or get bored, go through the huge array of past posts on the blog, and you will find something to keep you engaged.

For those who have stuck with my writing these past ten years, and those who joined sometime along the way, this is to say a huge THANK YOU. For showing up always, for crying with me when I cried, and laughing with me when I laughed. Thank you for all the comments, and the feedback, which have all been very supportive.

Again, this is not really goodbye. Rather, in Arnold Schwarzenegger's voice: Hasta la vista, baby.

Love and Peace always,

Meg.