Photo Credit: Charles Deluvio on www.unsplash.com

 

My newest guilty pleasure has to be Black-ish.

 

I mean… it’s not entirely NEW per se. I had begun watching it earlier this year, but dropped off.

 

I recently picked it up again, and boyyyyyy…. I CANNOT wait to be done with my day, curl up on the sofa with a bowl of unshelled roasted peanuts, and let off the steam of the day by just laughing at the the Johnson family’s squabbles on the show.

 

First it is HILARIOUS! More importantly, it is very educational, especially for people seeking to understand nuances in (North-American) black culture.  Recently, I watched an episode where code switching was discussed.

 

The first-time I actually heard the term – Code-Switching - I instinctively knew what it meant, without even having to check Urban Dictionary. This was because although it had evolved into (almost) second nature with time, it was something I had consciously developed.

 

Harvard Business Review defines Code-Switching as “adjusting one’s style of speech, appearance, behavior, and expression in ways that will optimize the comfort of others in exchange for fair treatment, quality service, and employment opportunities”, more often “in spaces where negative stereotypes” … run counter to what are considered “appropriate” behaviors and norms for a specific environment”.

 

Code switching can be considered a sort of invisible “cloak” that people of colour – particularly black people – particularly black immigrants – have often adorned, to ‘blend’ more with their environment [particularly with regards to employment] so as not to seem ‘different’ [my euphemism for strange] to colleagues who are not as diverse or from similar backgrounds.

 

A simple but practical example is speaking to colleagues on the phone in crisp North-American accent along the lines of “Yes please, clearly understood, we should touch base toward EoD, while I circle back on all outstanding. You can take back 45 minutes”.

 

And the very next second, turning to friends in the room in full-blown naija lingo to quip, “Omoh, how far?? You don chop finish? When we go comot? Mehhhnnnn… I’m tired ehhn, I just want to relasss and be taken kiaruf”.

 

*snorts*

 

There are very many reasons for Code-Switching, all personal to the ‘switcher’.

 

Asides the predominant career progression justification, it could also be due to the possible confusion that one’s ‘natural’ expressions which they have been used to from birth due to orientation and background, may be confusing to others not used to or exposed to other similar backgrounds.

 

For example, it was a running joke with my non-Nigerian flatmate during grad school that “you Nigerians play and laugh as if you’re fighting”. In her words, she was scared a couple of us friends were having a heated misunderstanding the first time we had a mini get together in the flat.

 

With time, she came to understand (and look forward even to) these gatherings as just pure unadulterated joy and playful teasing, after a long week of school work.

 

My flatmate as well was black, and an immigrant. Yet, it took her a bit of time to get used to this. Imagine that it was the same expressions we used during our get-togethers that was used at work, where the population is much more likely to be less diverse.

 

[Sally from HR would be sitting at your office door, waiting to welcome you every day]

It is little surprise thus that folks (like us?) code switch. Because the reaction to ‘regular speak’ in a more formal setting or among a less diverse crowd is usually one of two extremes.

 

On the one hand, one may be considered ‘uncultured’ (whatever that means), possibly aggressive even, and an hour of planned deliberations could be frustrated by constant interjections of “I’m sorry, but I cannot understand you”. Buzz-phrases like “perhaps, she is not a entirely a good fit” and “oh my, she has quite an interesting accent” are quite ‘innocently’ passed around.

 

Guess who will not be invited to after-work drinks, so as not to confuse everybody??

(We know how this story ends. We’ve seen it too many times)

 

The other extreme is one of being considered quite “exotic”… like an antique piece of 14^th century art just rediscovered, or a very rare bird. Very patronizing (albeit good-intentioned) repetitions of “I love how you speak!” are quite a common occurrence.

 

(Guess who is invited to EVERY after-work drinks event, just to “hear how they speak”?)

 

Regardless of the particular reason, at the end of the day, Code-Switchers just want to blend, without having to deal with the headache of explaining their hair/talk/accent/slangs/bounce/swag/breathing.

 

Which brings us to the question: should you WANT to blend? IS there something wrong with being ‘different’?

 

Quite frankly, I could go into the theoretical gymnastics of loving yourself the way you are and all a dat, which we know. The truth however is that na person wey wear shoe know as e dey pinch am.

 

Every person is navigating their own waters at their own pace, and in the way they deem best for their own circumstance. In my own case, I suffered such EXTREME isolation during grad school that when I was ready to enter the legal market, my sense of self-confidence was at an all time low.

 

I recall attending a (alleged) work interview at a ‘reputable’ organization where all the interviewer asked me about was “Boko-Haram”, because I was obviously Nigerian, and as na me and BH dey siddon drink tea together.

 

*rolls eyes

 

Thus, I developed Code-Switching as a survival skill, to get my foot into the door and get a seat at the table. I would often joke that I had my straight wigs for work interviews. Except that it was no joke.

 

Since my BH interview experience, I did the best possible to blend in, and look and talk as different as was least possible from the average Canadian.

 

Fast forward to a couple of years later, I am no longer in survival mode. However, I had practiced Code-Switching so long, that I honestly no longer realise I code-switch.

 

I am however much more comfortable consciously switching to my more natural expressions, wearing my braids, and often drop some local lingo and slangs during meetings with colleagues.

“Such as “We are not jollof rice. We cannot please everybody”, or “We Move”.

 

It helps that in the past two years or so, black people have been able to be more vocal about stereotypes at work, and have had a sort of coming out, such that Code-Switching is not at an all-time high as it probably was in the past.

And in my case particularly, it goes a long way to help that I have colleagues who are really exposed to people of diverse backgrounds, and diversity is not an item for window-dressing in my present organization.

 

In the past year, it has been pretty easy for me to bring most of me (if not all of me) to work.

I cannot say the same for every black person, or every person of colour. I do not know the particular circumstance each person is navigating. Which is why I do not believe anyone should be judged if they Code-Switch.

 

For to one person, it may be just a ‘flex’. But to another, it is a fundamental skill for (corporate) survival and progression in the western world.

 

To each their own. And may the odds always be in our favour.

 

Paz,

 

Meg.

Photo Credit: Collage made from photos by Christina Wocintechchat, Clarke Sanders and Leighann Blackwood on www.unsplash.com

As a point of principle, I stay away from discussing personal (work) matters on the blog. It is a line I consciously drew, and have done my best to stick with it.

I also do my best not to get entwined in legalese here. Because (1) Obtaining my law licence was not cheap, and whatever free lunch I give is not to be found here in the form of free legal advice, and (2) if all my posts were written in plain legalese, my audience would be rather non-diverse and quite boring (don’t you  think??)

 

Over the weekend however, a close friend shared an interesting experience which (with their permission) I seek perspectives.

 

(And quite frankly, I also want to vent about it. So forgive my post, if it is a bit all over the place)

 

Let us call close friend, X.

 

X was invited for a series of job interviews, for a rather juicy role with a multinational. X – being the star child they are – aced all the interviews, and was basically informed in principle, that the job was theirs.

 

X just had to do a ‘regular’ medical examination, which X acquiesced to, because X felt X’s health is in pristine condition.

 

Which is why X was surprised to hear back from the company, that the offer will not be given, due to X’s medicals which revealed X’s high blood pressure was a little on the high side.

 

For dramatic effect, let me repeat (with emphasis):

 

H I G H  B L O O D P R E S S U R E.

 

To provide some context, it is a regular 9 - 5 desk job in a corporate environment. The location is somewhere in Nigeria, and X was literally contacted the morning of the medical examination to go for the exam.

 

The expectation is not that X will be lifting granite, or chasing armed robbers. X will do what you, me, and billions of other employed people around the world do:

 

Sit behind an office desk, and cluck away at our computer keypads.

 

Before delving into the nitty-gritty of legality or not, let us consider high-level the issue of having .high blood pressure (HBP)

 

Just thinking of my relatives still in Nigeria – with ALL the insecurity, poor power supply, institutional corruption and other attendant issues – gives me HBP.

 

 

Throw in someone who is actually living that reality; it is a miracle that the majority of the people are not dropping faint from HPB issues everyday.

 

Throw in the fact that X resides in one of the busiest cities in the country, and had to break their routine to go for the snap medical examination.

 

Considering the foregoing, it is little wonder that X’s blood pressure levels were elevated. What I found ‘wonderful’ (and not in the good kind of way) was that the offer was retracted, based on X’s blood pressure levels.

 

And then, of course, there is the issue of legality of pre-employment medical examinations.

 

I am aware that what is obtainable may differ from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, and depends on the the instant circumstance.

 

In Ontario, Canada, for example, the Human Rights Code protects prospective employees from random pre-employment medical screening, except in limited instances when it is to determine the essential duties of the job.

 

For example, it would make both common and legal sense for a person signing up for the army to undertake specific medical examination, especially if they would be actively involved in physical combat.

 

Same sense would not be afforded however to a regular 9 to 5 job, in a regular corporate environment (or work from home) location.

 

Now I understand that employment laws in Nigeria do not have any such discriminatory protection for prospective employees. In fact, it is deemed somewhat of a recruitment custom for pre-employment medicals to be conducted.

 

I would know this, because I too have been through it.

 

You would think however that multinationals, who in their parent countries of establishment CANNOT engage in discriminatory practices would be minded to shine the light and equally refrain from same in other countries where such protection is not afforded employees.

 

Sadly, this is not the case. All the beautiful, feel-good PowerPoint slides on Equity, Diversity and Inclusion which make it in their CSR presentations are just that: feel good PowerPoint slides.

 

There is also the possibility that a person’s medicals could present them in pristine health one day, and they could drop dead (or fall seriously ill) from a condition not detected from those medicals, or even develop a post-employment disability.

 

(They could literally get hit by the car on the first day to work)

 

Which is why I personally consider pre-employment medicals an absurd frivolity, except for few instances where actual physical exertion is required (for on-site physical labour), and even those should be limited to the basic necessity.

 

Additionally, I find such medicals possible of being fodder for discrimination against women. I recall particular instances where women were turned down from employment, due to a positive pregnancy test as part of the medicals.

 

(Pray tell, if all women decided not to get pregnant for the sake of employment, who would kindly assume the baton of procreating for the human race??)

 

But I’m open to listening to (superior) contrary views on this. Till then, I have a word of advice for multinationals employing in developing countries:

 

Do better.

 

(Rant over. *drops mic*)

 

Paz,

 

Meg.

 

 

P.s: I’ll successfully hit another orbit around the moon next Monday. Yes, I am still accepting birthday gifts, in cash and MacBooks (thank you) *wink

Image Credits:

1. National Cancer Institute via www.unsplashed.com

2. www.tenor.com

 

Happy Women's History Month! Happy Black History Month!! (in arrears). Happy felicitations for all the good things that have been happening since the last time I blogged.

 

As I type, I am hiding out in the guest bathroom on my break, in order to get a breather. Problem is, I am hiding from myself and my home-desk.

 

One year later, we’re all still working from home, no thanks to the Rona. Sometimes, it just seems that the work is in a never ending loop.

 

Which was why I kind of chuckled to myself when I was asked recently:

 

How do you do it?

 

I’ll not be immodest; I do have A LOT I handle simultaneously.

 

There is work. There is family and other very demanding personal responsibilities. Then there is the TON of volunteering I engage in, which sometimes feels like a lot more than all the others combined.

 

Throw in the pressure of the pandemic, and having to consciously find ways to deal with cabin fever and keep the pounds off.

 

Yet… your girl has time to binge on her Netflix and Disney+ shows. (Currently addicted to Outlander, which in all honesty, is a ‘soft’ version of GoT, with a side of Mills & Boon)

 

“How do you do it??”

 

The Nigerian in me craved to fake-modestly respond with a smile, a casual shrug of my shoulders, and our usual “Na God o”. But truth is I have had to very intentionally device coping strategies for multi-tasking, since I got thrown into the law life about 14 years ago.

 

I have found my coping strategies very useful as my life got busier, particularly with this pandemic, and I’m pleased to share some of them with you below (You’re welcome 😉)

 

1. Daily To-Do Lists: Sounds like the proverbial over-flogged horse?? I know you’ve heard this a million times… but it cannot be emphasized enough.

 

A to-do list helps you to actually visualize the uncountable things you have to do in your head. Having written it down, you can see that some things may not necessarily even need to be done.

 

I write down my to-do list for the next day, the night before just as I am going to bed. This is so that I do not wake-up the next day, running around like a headless chicken; very busy doing everything but achieving nothing.

 

It is important to point out that you must have a two-way to-do list: your Work to-do, and your Personal to-do (which may include exercise and tv time). If like me, volunteering also takes a lot of your time, make a third list: your Volunteering to-do.

 

As you achieve each task, physically cross out the task. It does something to your psyche, boosts you and helps you realise you’re making progress.

 

You can begin with the smaller tasks, and work your way up to the more difficult and time-demanding tasks. It is ok if you’re not able to finish everything on your list for the day, in so far as you are satisfied with the progress made.

 

2. Prioritize

 

It is one thing to have a list of things to do. It is another skills-set entirely to know how to prioritize them.

 

I always start with tasks that are more urgent and/or important, and work down the list to the ones less urgent or important. That way, if I have carryover tasks, nobody is getting in trouble.

 

From time to time, the priority for each task may change, depending on the particular demand, and that’s ok.

 

3. Have a plan. Stick with it

 

It’s also important to develop a method to the madness; i.e. a plan for balancing and executing your activities.

 

If you tend more to the roll-out-from-the-bed-and-roll-with-it approach, you risk absence of sustainability in successfully balancing all the many activities. You’d need to figure out how to craft your daily activities.

 

Example: if (like me pre-pandemic) you are a late riser, and there just happens to be a gym in your office building, you could plan your daily exercise after work, or during your lunch break. This of course would mean being conscious of having your last pre-exercise meal, three hours prior to the workout.

 

(Or so Dr. Google says)

 

If you’re a Madame in multi-tasking, by all means, schedule tasks you can undertake simultaneously, to save time for others. If you work better by facing one task at a time (which also has its own advantage), you should do just that.

 

While it is important to stick to the plan as much as possible, be nimble enough to adapt to situations when spanners are thrown into your daily routine.

 

4. Avoid unnecessary pressure/last minute madness

 

From my past life as a litigation lawyer, if there is one common thread of the litigation dance, it is the never-ending struggle to file processes barely minutes before the deadline.

 

Like… everybody just sits around like Queen Beyonce in Black is King, sipping pina colada UNTIL THE VERY END OF THE DEADLINE.

 

Waiting till the very last minute to execute tasks not only poses the risk of a PLETHORA of mistakes, but has a ripple effect on other planned tasks.

 

Whenever I have a task to do, irrespective of how far the deadline is, I begin as soon as I get the work. I begin to do the work in little bits and pieces way ahead of time.

 

The days when my to-do list is rather light, I fight off the spell Mr. Bezos has cast on us all and the urge to kill time on the streets of Amazon, while facing tasks with deadlines that seem so far away in the future.

 

If I have a blog-post to put up, and I am dead-pressed for time, you could easily find me typing and editing on my phone in between bus-rides, or during my self-allotted bathroom break.

 

(Like this one)

 

What this does is that as the said deadline approaches, I am not pressed for time, or facing unnecessary pressure, and pulling unnecessary all-nighters. Hence, my other tasks do not have to suffer.

 

Thus, my ‘balanced’ life.

 

5. Delegate, Delegate, Delegate

 

If delegation was a Kingdom, I could very easily be its Queen.

 

I have learnt to not concern myself with frying little fish, if I can afford it. Once I have capable people working with me, I share my vision/thoughts for a task, and leave them to run with it.

 

No, I am not a micro-manager.

 

Of course, this in turn requires you must have invested in and trained your delegates such that you trust their work output. Particularly if you play for Team Perfectionism, and want everything done to a T.

 

But delegate, you must. Otherwise, you’d drown under the load of never-ending work.

 

(After which having mourned you [for say, two days?] over a bowl of jollof rice, someone else quietly steps in to take over)

 

6. Social Media Juggernaut??

 

I know. With the never-ending red light notifications, from the never-ending social media apps, how does one even get a moment to drink water??

 

So you thought, “let me quickly put up my Tik-Tok video”. Boom, 7 hours gone!

 

Just like that.

 

Managing your time on social media requires careful and intentional planning (there is a WHOLE post I will put up for it, another day).

 

For me, the bottom-line is that if you do not absolutely rely on social media to sell your craft, you should consciously limit your social media time to a fixed amount of time. 45 minutes? 1 hour?? You are the best person to determine how much time per day would not affect your achieving your daily goals.

 

One thing that helps me, I have ALL my social media notifications off (ummm… except emails). That way, I only see notifications, when I actually enter into a particular app, within my social media time.

 

I stay conscious of how much time I spend on each app, make posts when I want to, briefly scroll through each street… and I’m out. On most days, I spend about a total of 10 - 15 minutes maximum on each social media app. The rest of the days, it far less time spent (if any at all)

 

Unless you’re a person whose craft requires interacting with the public through all channels available, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO OPEN AN ACCOUNT ON EVERY SOCIAL MEDIA CHANNEL.

 

(Sorry for shouting)

 

7. Create Boundaries.

 

In this pandemic world, everyday seems like MoWeTueFriSuThuSatdaaaaay.

 

Exactly!

 

Everyday seems like the last, and the next simultaneously. Especially if you were blessed enough to have a job where you could work from home. And the whole home could seem like the office.

 

You have to consciously create parameters which determine your work space and time

 

In my case, I have adopted work stations, outside of which I do not take my laptop to do any work.

 

And somebody has to be near dying to get me to look at my work laptop over the weekends or a holiday (except it is only the kiss of life from my particular lips that could resuscitate them, please take them to the hospital)

 

You’re not likely to see a response from that work email sent by 1.09am on Saturday, until Monday morning.

 

I literally just chill over the weekend, and do other fun stuff like church, shopping, and catch up on sleep when I can.

 

8. Just say no?

 

You know how referees are asked to state a ‘weakness’ you have when giving you glowing references.

 

I once had a referee give me feedback that I never said no to all work piled on me, and I could carry on a bit too much at the same time.

 

That was in my past life, and that feedback was my wake-up call.

 

I have since then come to terms with the fact that work nor dey finish. The moment my plate begins to show signs of being full, despite how sad I may feel turning down someone, I have learnt to respectfully decline added work or responsibilities.

 

As we say in Nigeria, I cannot coman kill myself, and die.

 

9. Find your de-stressor. Hold it tightly.

 

You need to create time for something which helps you relax, and empty the stress of the week.

 

For me, sometimes it’s writing on the blog, or in my personal journal.

 

Recently however, my go-to has been shelling & eating roasted peanuts, while binging on my favourite TV show of the period.

 

I plan hangout dates with myself, where I look forward to just catching up on shows that make me laugh. I also leverage technology, and look forward to connecting with my siblings from time to time. The joyful chaos in the background of their near-approaching teenage-years kids is welcome music to my ears and my soul. 

 

See?? It’s not rocket science after all.

 

You too can balance everything you have to handle. And if you fail to remember anything else, remember to know when to pull the plug, just say no, put your foot up on the sofa and chill.

 

Your mental health is paramount always, especially in this pandemic season.

 

Stay winning. 😊

 

Paz,

 

Meg.

Photo credit: Alexey Turenkov at unsplash.com